Fandom: BtVS, AtS
Characters/Pairings: Spander, Dawn/Connor, Kennedy/Willow,
Faith/Willow, Andrew/? (it's a silly surprise!)
Rating/Warnings: Teen for language, and warnings for random
crackness and slashy undertones.
Spoilers: General spoilers for both tv shows. Disregards the comics.
Prompt: Spander, tree for anxiety_junkie
Word Count: 888, a complete and total total fail of the rules
I set for myself.
Disclaimer: I so totally own this show. Bow Down! *Doctor's
Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of
ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better
than her throwing rocks at people.*
Real Disclaimer: I make no money from this, and claim no
ownership over the to any of the copyrighted material of "Buffy the
Vampire Slayer" or "Angel the Series." Those works belong to their
On a sunny Sunday morning, the dining hall was filled with Slayers,
Watchers, and guests. Many had gathered at the Montreal Slayers'
Academy for Dawn and Connor's wedding, and quite a few were still
feeling the aftereffects of the wedding reception; namely,
No one had been too surprised the previous evening when Connor had
suddenly tossed Dawn over his shoulder and run from the dance floor,
the puffy white dress billowing behind them. It also wasn't
surprising when several established couples had suddenly began kissing
and groping. Weird, yes, but surprising, no.
It was more surprising when Faith had suddenly yelled "fuck it,"
punched out Kennedy, and then'd thrown Willow onto a table and jumped
on top of her. A few Slayers and several men were disappointed when
the writhing, kissing couple had suddenly teleported away. Those
unaffected by the strange mood had investigated and found the cause of
these actions to be Andrew, who'd cast a spell looking for his true
The next morning, most of the couples sat at breakfast, red faced. Of
course, Willow had apologized profusely to Kennedy, while Faith had
just shrugged smugly. Two minutes later, Kennedy was once again
unconscious at Faith's hand, having attempted to kiss Willow. Because
it turned out that while the effect of the spell had been an accident,
the desires involved hadn't been created, just revealed. Which
It was at this moment that a hunched, bashful figure entered the
doorway: Xander. His face was a bright shade of red as he entered the
dining hall, fidgeting with is eye patch before scurrying over to his
Dawn grinned. "Spike and Xander," she sing-songed.
Xander glared, but she continued.
"Sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I--"
"That's not what they were doing last night, Dawnie," Faith interrupted.
"Ah, good point. Fine. Spike and Xander, sittin' in a tree,
"Dawnie!" Buffy yelped. "Shut up, I do not need these mental images!"
"Really? Because I sure as hell don't mind," Faith drawled, leering
"Faith!" Willow admonished, confusion plainly lining her face.
"What? Just 'cause I'm all crazy over you don't mean I can't
appreciate the idea of Spike and Xander fuckin,'" she said. She
looked over at Willow with an fond leer, then pulled the witch's chair
closer. She leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, a kiss
that quickly turned heated.
Xander stared, his eye wide before he looked away and dropped his head
onto the table. "God, I have officially entered the evil mirror
universe. Just kill me now," he groaned.
"Nah," Connor said, snickering. "I don't wanna piss Spike off."
"Aw, poor Xander," Willow said. She placed a hand on his shoulder and
gently squeezed. "You should eat."
"Yeah," Connor teased, "He'll need to keep his strength up."
"Yeah, right. I don't think Spike'll make the same mistake twice,"
Xander said, lifting his head when the table fell silent. He frowned
and scrunched his nose, staring at the group. "Crap, what did I do
"Xander, last night happened because Andrew cast a spell," Willow started.
"Figures." Xander snorted.
"But it wasn't like a lust spell or anything, it was a love spell."
Xander's gaze went blank as he thought. The next instant, his face
shifted from fear to confusion to incredulity. "Wait, Andrew made
Spike fall in love with me?" he squeaked.
"Not quite," Willow said. "See--"
"What my girl here means to say is that it only makes you act on what
you want, it doesn't make you want something you normally don't,"
Xander's eye widened as his jaw dropped. "So you're saying that
Spike... like, normally wants me?"
A small smile quirked his lips, then grew into a full smile. A bark
of laughter errupted from him, short and surprised, but joyous. "Wow,
so we're like, the weirdest pairing, huh?"
"Not even close, Boy Toy," Faith drawled.
Xander nodded before falling silent. He sat still for a few moments,
frowning. Then in a rush, he suddenly stood, his chair clattering to
the floor. He quickly fashioned a sandwich out of bacon and pancakes
before running out of the room.
Five minutes later, Andrew stumbled into the room. His face was pale
and drawn as he walked gingerly, his movements careful as he
approached the original Scoobies.
"Wow, Andrew. You look like you were rode hard and put away wet," Buffy noted.
Andrew frowned. "What does that even mean?" he asked.
"I dunno," Buffy said with shrug. "I guess it--"
"You little worm!"
The room fell silent as Kennedy struggled to her feet. Her face was
bruised and bloody as she stood, her eyes filled with a hate directed
right at Andrew. She lunged at him, but before she could make
contact, Illyria was there, holding her off the ground, a blue hand
wrapped around Kennedy's throat.
"Let it be known henceforth that none may punish my consort but me,"
The room was once again silent, broken only by one sound: